July 2011
26 posts
Champions: Brock McRock
A wise man once told me, “If you were to put a pair of undies on a U.S. map, Texas would be the cock n’ balls of America.” I would add that if you were to locate the name-tag sewn above the skidmarks, they’d read “BROCK McROCK” (Taylor Fullbright).
This guy hates all things “big city,” and that includes highfalutin city types, indoor plumbing, carpetbaggers of all shapes and sizes, and big...
June 2011
27 posts
Champions: Airistotle
Airistotle (Matt Burns), now an official US Air Guitar Champion, also holds the distinction of having once been the youngest performer in US Air Guitar history. At the ripe age of 17 in early 2008, his mother drove him from their latchkey apartment in New York City down to Philadelphia, because it was the only all ages show on our tour. Everyone present that night knew they were witnessing the...
SF Day 2: Redemption
Eternal gratitude to Christine Zona Foto for all of today’s amazing photographs.
Two nights ago as Björn Türoque (Dr. Daniel Crane, Ph.D), the face of US Air Guitar, stepped into the green room during our crowded contestant briefing, I valiantly shouted, “ladies and gentlemen, you all know who this man is–”
“—the guy who turned down my facebook request!” responded a forlorn SINGAR THE...
SF Day 1: Hi-speed rewind style then played back...
Shred Nugent (Kurt Brown) takes a regional championship for the first time since 2007. All photography by San Francisco’s sharpest shooter, Christine Zona Foto.
Last night San Francisco hosted the first of two Pride Weekend regional US Air Guitar competitions. The bar was set pretty high with SHRED BOY R.D., who volunteered to go first and will one day be a chef and feed all the little...
Get Proud Now
It’s been a long, filthy tour, so we’re freshening up at the 18th St. Gold’s Gym. Tonight and tomorrow we play San Francisco’s Independent, just a few blocks from the Castro on this proudest of Pride Weekends.
Be it gay pride or straight shame we’re celebrating all weekend. Join us?
Champions: Windhammer
In a world of phony smiles, brown nosers, and of course industry douchebags, it’s refreshing to meet someone and truly know where you stand. Such is the case with today’s Champion, the ginger ninja, the man who hates puppies and butterflies, the one and only WINDHAMMER (Rob Weychert).
He’s the iratest!
On stage, Masters of Airemonies BJÖRN TÜROQUE (Dr. Daniel Crane, Ph.D) and HOT LIXX HULAHAN...
Awesome on awesome: awesome
2009 SF champion AWESOME (Alex Koll) inked this piece for the most recent Bold Italic. It’s a must read.
When the U.S. Air Guitar Championships roll into town during the summer, men and women of an otherwise mild manner are transformed into gods of pure rock. Sweaty and shameless displays of pure enthusiasm set to epic anthems produce girth-defying feats of semi-acrobatics that drive...
Champions: MEAN MELIN
Eric Melin is the type of guy who’s waiting at the hotel with cookies when the van pulls up. He’s the type of guy who gets you free passes to AMC’s flagship theater in Kansas City. He’s the type of guy who’s always smiling.
MEAN MELIN, Eric’s alter ego, is a world class son of a bitch. Many is the time I’ve mopped blood from his stage, and every is the time mothers cover their baby’s ears...
Boston & Philly (updating...)
USAG Clerical IT is working round the clock to update the blog. Please stay tuned.
What we did last night (video)
Here’s a video from our pal Jim Armstrong over at CBS. He nailed it.
Brooklyn: Bowled Over
Shreddy Mercury wins the Brooklyn Regional with his Doc Brown impression. But Neckballs doesn’t approve. Photo credit Gabi Porter.
Much like today’s blog, with the exception of new regional champion SHREDDY MERCURY (Seth Leibowitz), last night’s Brooklyn Regional Championships didn’t really start until round two. Celebrity judge and confirmed blog reader JASON JONES (Daily Show) sent a...
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NYC: Airistotelean
Last night’s champ, Airistotle (Matt Burns), all grow’d up. Photo credit Ben Hider.
One day, many years from now, AIRISTOTLE’S children – assuming he lost his virginity last night – will read about their father’s performance in the history books. Airistotle (Matt Burns), now the official New York Air Guitar champion, was once the youngest performer in US Air Guitar history. At the...
USAG is biggest blip on TMZ's gaydar
Kristen Schaal judges NYC TONIGHT!
We’re at the Bowery Ballroom right now chopping it up with Ms. Schaal about her roles in Flight of the Conchords, Daily Show, and now US Air Guitar.
Get here now, the ninjas are already getting costumed.
Champions: COLD STEEL RENEGADE
COLD STEEL RENEGADE (Matt Feldstein) first endeared himself to me in San Francisco when I accompanied him and HOT LIXX to the Comcast Sports Net studios for an on-air interview and performance with CSN anchor, Greg Papa. Ever the professional, Cold Steel didn’t break character once, despite Papa’s growing discomfort standing next to this well-built topless man in pink tights with...
Brazil sends her finest to NYC
Wednesday’s show has a bevy of celebrity superstar appearances, the most Brazilian of which being Mr. HEAVYER DANNAIR, who will join William Ocean (Andrew Litz) for reunion halftime shows at the Bowery Ballroom and Brooklyn Bowl. The last time these guys were together a hundred million viewers tuned in to watch.
DC: Tommy Fretless Makes Us Weep
Fuck that shit, I’m taking credit for this one. Photo credit: ATC (West Hays).
TOMMY FRETLESS (Adam Lee) conquered Saturday night’s DC show at the 9:30 Club in his first regional victory since he started back in 2008. He has progressed thusly:
2008 Pittsburgh: 8th 2009 Brooklyn: 3rd 2009 DC: 3rd 2010 Dark Horse Invitational: 4th 2011: Champion
Champion TOMMY FRETLESS (Adam Lee, red shorts...
MINNEAPOLIS: Girls Girls Girls BREAK HEARTS, BIRTH...
Airisol and Lost Heartbreaker jam out with their glam out.
Friday night’s Minneapolis show was opened by celebrity guest ninja HUGATHUG (Joe Regan) and Master of Airemonies HOT LIXX HULAHAN (Craig Billmeier), performing before a packed crowd filled with screeching girls and scary biker guys from the bar next door.
Competitor number one, wildcard NIP DIAMOND: THE DIAMOND NIPPLE, established...
Kalamazoo: Strutt your stuff
Kalamazoo’s champion, Thundergland, takes a moment to pose with Hot Lixx Hulahan while the audience wonders when he’ll start his performance.
The judges: Ben Bowman, comedian; “Chafe,” local legend, venue owner, lifelong band guy; Björn Türoque, the face of US Air Guitar.
The contestants: Arrived on time.
The challenge: Melt some fucking faces.
For her first regional ever, Kalamazoo...
Legends: Sonyk-Rok
SONYK-ROK (Miri Park) faced the impossible task of following C-DIDDY as the 2004 US Air Guitar representative on the world stage. Today, we take a step back in time to early-twenty-aughts, when Sonyk crushed the World Air Guitar and brought the title back to the stars and stripes.
Each handmade trading card celebrates like never before the pillars of US Air Guitar – those members of the...
Milwaukee: Today I learned how to spell you
Photo credit Miriam Doan, the Charcoal to our Fire.
Hot Lixx Hulahan (Craig Billmeier), the 2008 Air Guitar World Champion, each night unfailingly begins his contestant briefing by asking, “Who’s competed before?” And you know what, there’s something magical about seeing that first hand shoot into the air, especially when it belongs to State Representative Gordon Hintz (Krye Tuff ’05). Rep....
Wisc. State Rep. Gordon Hintz judges tonight's...
Wisconsin State Representative Gordon Hintz (aka Krye Tuff) is welcomed to the stage by an unnamed ninja (West Hays). Rep. Hintz will be judging tonight’s show at Turner Hall in Milwaukee. There’s still a few tickets left right here.
Champions: Shreddy Mercury, all shred no shlemiel
It’s a true privilege to present this week’s Champion, the first official winner to transcend our personal attacks and move right into religious ones, with an official high-gloss limited edition US Air Guitar Champion Trading Card.
SHREDDY MERCURY’S (Seth Leibowitz) fans know him as a transformative Mr. Sweetypants turned human fucking monster, as when he smiles coyly at the crowd before getting...
Legends: Bettie B. Goode "Toes before bros"
We held out as long as we could for her official Legend card, hoping BETTIE B. GOODE (Taryn Kapronica) would birth the industry’s first pure child of air before press time. We had the blog all polished and ready to go, complete with links to the little man’s registry at FAO Schwartz and a live feed from Denver General. Mrs. Goode, now wife to fellow legend BIG RIG and sister-in-law to 2011...
